These are strange and perilous times. There lurks a deadly disease for some of us who are older than age 60, that is compounded by any underlying health issues that suppress immune systems.
I am in almost self-imposed isolation, sequestered with my 46-year old son Jacob in his Huntington Beach, California, one-bedroom apartment. He is generous. I get his bed. He’s on the blow-up in the LR. I am practicing how to be a good guest (this is like yoga, the more you do it, the better you get) and he is a loving off-spring.
Yikes. Do I have it? Here is a helpful guide from Hollie T. in NC
How do we pass the time together? Respecting quiet. Working from home. Watching Netflix. Talking (a novel idea) about life and feelings. Just being.
Elbow bumps — love in the time of corona virus
We were invited to dinner at Holly’s house in Long Beach last night. Holly is Shelley’s mom. Shelley is Jacob’s girlfriend. The date was set several weeks ago. (Sidebar: After a 30-minute discussion about whether to go out to dinner at a restaurant on Saturday night, we decided to hunker down and cook at home. Social distancing is driving our lives.)
So, the opportunity to go to Long Beach is a welcome one and we go. I think I’m the only one who is the potential hot-potato, since I flew on an airplane last Thursday! But Holly went shopping at Ralph’s, so who knows.
We greet each other as if all was almost normal. No hugs. Elbow bumps and big smiles. (I absented to wash my hands in the bathroom several times taking extra precautions and counting to 20 twice.) Gin and tonics around the coffee table, nibbles of steamed shrimp and dipping sauce (except we are learning to take a spoon and put the sauce on a plate instead of dipping and re-dipping — but what about that pesky common spoon handle?).
A pretend fight over the toilet paper
Settling in with a good drink and leaning back on the cozy sofa, Holly presents each of us with a gift in honor of St. Patrick’s Day: a roll of toilet paper tied with a green bow. Now, this is love!
We eat corned beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes. We drink wine. We talk about future travel. I bring my favorite gluten-free dessert made earlier in the day: nicuatole. All seems almost normal.
I am scheduled to fly to North Carolina on March 24, but as we know all things are fluid and changing minute-by-minute. Perhaps I’ll stay here a while longer. Who knows?
Stay healthy. Stay safe.
P.S. Yesterday, the California governor officially declared all bars closed. So happy I brought three bottles of mezcal with me from Oaxaca. Jacob is doing a beer run later and will work from home. We are cozy.
Whoever thought a roll of TP would be so valuable — best expression of love
P.P.S. This is allergy season. I’m monitoring every sniffle and cough. I touch my forehead. Do I have a fever? Do I have it or is this a normal reaction to spring? I imagine you may be out there doing the same thing.
Coming to California from Mexico was going to be a family reunion. All that changed in a flash. I arrived at my son’s in Huntington Beach after diligently sanitizing every airplane surface I could touch. My hands are raw from washing and sanitizer. Small sacrifices. Every sniffle and cough is alarming. I’m hoping it’s allergies. One site I read says, if you can hold your breath for 10 seconds without coughing or chest tightness, you don’t have it.
Nature hike today, Bolsa Chica Wetlands, Huntington Beach, CA
Hard to know what to believe.
A recurring theme: TP out of stock. Our back-up is tissue, then paper napkins.
Meanwhile, the party we were all going to was cancelled and we decided to stay put, institute social distancing and flatten the curve: sister and brother-in-law in Santa Cruz, and brother in Thousand Oaks. I’m here chilling and cooking with my boy. I’m sure we all have similar stories.
In Chicago, no fresh produce
Meanwhile, I brought four rolls of toilet paper from Mexico and eight bottles of hand sanitizer. There is no TP to be found in Southern California. I’m getting photos from friends in Denver, Santa Fe and Chicago that shelves are bare. We have resorted to paper napkins as back-up. I’m rationing as I wipe.
Decorator paper, California bathroom — hoarding countrywide
Now for the Comic Relief. I received an email from my friend Ellen Benson. I suggested after reading this that she become a Stand Up Comic. She said her only gig was the Oaxaca Lending Library presentation she gave in February when she mistook the podium lamp for a microphone. She gave me permission to share this with you:
“Hi all! I came home from Oaxaca on Wednesday, March 4, which now seems like many weeks ago! No one on the plane or at the airport had on masks or gloves and i saw very little wiping down of surfaces. So, in the face of a potentially lethal worldwide epidemic, i did what i was born to do, and a few days later i went to Marshall’s!! Actually i was on my way to Target, and i have to confess that i grabbed a shopping cart without a second thought. I also grabbed a 4 pack bundle of kleenex, paper towels, liquid hand soap, granola bars, peanut butter crackers and purified water. Later, at the food co-op where i toted the shopping basket without wiping it down, i added mango popsicles, tomato sauce, chocolate chip cookies and canned string beans (which i rarely eat, but this time may be different!) and i went to the ATM and then pumped gas, without wearing gloves! And of course i’ve had no guidance from any authorities on whether plucking a beard hair, fiddling with my hair and putting in earplugs to mask zak’s snoring, count as touching my face!
“I had lunch with Rita, at highpoint Cafe WHERE I TOUCHED THE BATHROOM DOOR HANDLE ON THE WAY IN, but used a paper towel to grab it on the way out, thank goddess. Of course i leaned on the counter and then pulled out my chair—but that was just for a few seconds. The real problem is that Harin joined us and SHE HAD JUST RETURNED FROM SEATTLE THE NIGHT BEFORE! So—this may be the last newsletter i ever write. I just called the Phila Health Dept hotline to find out what it means for me that my husband is still going to work at a senior citizen health care facility, but the voicemail message that told me to stay on the line, also said i was 67th in the order of calls!
“So now i have reverted to what i was born to do in an emergency if i can’t go to Marshall’s: i am stuffing myself with starches, fats and sugars. I had planned to go back to Weight Watchers when i got back from Mexico but hey, it’s NOT MY FAULT THEY MEET IN GROUPS IN SMALL SPACES!! I do wash my hands a lot. however i know it’s supposed to be big lathers and long enough to say the whole alphahebt, but i keep getting stuck at “P” and the lather is pretty weak. I guess i should not have bought the hand soap at DOLLAR GENERAL. None of this is as bad as the reporter who actually asked if we should stay away from Chinese food! As everyone knows, you should only stay away from Chinese food that uses recipes from Wuhan!
“So now it’s days later and i’m wearing rubber gloves (but only to brush my teeth), have wipes and purell everywhere, have bought the last 3,000 rolls of toilet paper in the city (no logical explanation except other people felt it was important), and am at home because everything’s cancelled and i hate taking walks in nature. I would love to use a 50% off coupon at MICHAEL’S but have to keep telling myself it’s not worth it, even if the Lord and Taylor shoe department is right next door. My plan is to clean out my studio, make art, try cooking something, talk on the phone a lot, give myself a pedicure, and of course, to write to YOU!!
Are we having fun yet? love, ellen”
I stuffed 4 rolls into my luggage; packed 8 bottles sanitizer
As for Mexico, the minister of public health says the virus will hit in full force between March 20 and March 30.
Shelley brings Jacob a care package
Anyone traveling from Mexico to the USA should bring a suitcase filled with TP and hand-sanitizer and distribute it to family and friends upon arrival, and before Mexico goes crazy about tushie hygiene, too.
Stay healthy, everyone. I’m trying my best.
Love, Norma
A walk did wonders for our mental health
Next big question: Should we eat out at a restaurant tonight? What do you think?
On early Thursday morning, March 12, I climb on an airplane to travel to visit my son and siblings in California. There are risks. I’m of that certain age of vulnerability, but with no underlying health issues. I’ve struggled with this decision and decided to move ahead despite all the cautionary (and near-panic) media attention. I’ve even watched CDC and Johns Hopkins Medical Center briefings to Congress to better understand the science of this virus. Will it ease my anxiety?
Called corona because of halo-crowns ringing the cell
Alas, all the hand-sanitizer bottles were sold-out from the Ahorro Farmacia in Oaxaca’s historic center. No disinfectant wipes to be found, either. The snowbird season is over. All the Gueros returning to the USA must have cleaned them out. The little convenience store in Teotitlan del Valle had plenty, so I stocked up and left a few on the shelf for the next person.
This message came to my inbox from Sarah Resnick, owner of Gist Yarn and Fiber. A well-crafted, thoughtful essay about fear, anxiety and lack of control for what presents itself in our lives. She mirrors my feelings, exactly.
Colorful cell photo of corona virus — isn’t it pretty?
I want to share it with you.
****
Hi there,
Sarah here, the owner of Gist (Yarn and Fiber). I want to take a pause in our regularly scheduled yarn emails to acknowledge this moment we are living in. Fears about a public health crisis and an unsteady economy can bring on strong feelings of anxiety that can be hard to shake, and I’m sure that some people on this email list have already been touched personally by these issues. We are lucky to have a craft and art that is so soothing – many of us can relate to the calming feeling of running a shuttle back and forth across a warp, steadying our minds.
This morning as I was snuggling in bed with my baby and trying to calm the pit of anxiety in my stomach, I took a deep breath and thought about all of the ways that I am relating to these issues – as a mother, as a daughter, as a granddaughter, and as a small business owner. All of those fears really centered around one thing – acknowledging a lack of control. I can’t control how this plays out, who it will impact, when it will feel less scary, and how our business and the livelihoods of our small team will weather a challenging economy. But of course, the feeling of control is always false, and we have all had experiences in our lives where everything changed in a moment.
So I’m choosing to lean into gratitude and trust – gratitude for the health care workers who are risking their own well-being to work to keep the most vulnerable people safe and protected, trust that our communities will come together instead of panic driving us apart. And trust also in this beautiful little business and community that we are building here at Gist – that we will weather this storm right along with the rest of our weaving community, that you will be here for us, and that we will be here for you.
Here are a few things I’m working with: deep breaths, long walks, quiet time with family, and of course, the steadiness of weaving. If you’re looking for some new yarn or weaving projects to dive into, we have you covered. But this wasn’t an email trying to sell you something. If, like me, you’re struggling with some anxiety, here’s a gentle reminder to take a breath and remember we are all in this together.
Yesterday’s blog post provoked a lot of discussion about women’s lives in Mexico, especially those living in poverty and struggling in remote villages. Some of our discussion was here. Some of it was via my Facebook page where I also share what I write.
I want to follow-up with some observations and impressions.
Women are vulnerable wherever we live, in developed First World countries and in developing countries around the world. Isolation and machismo contribute strongly to this vulnerability, especially where men control the lives and fates of women in their households.
Femicide: deaths and disappearance of women because of our gender.
Trailing behind, wife of the Mayordomo, Tenejapa, Chiapas
This is true in Mexico, throughout Central and South America, Asia and Africa. Women work, take care of families, contribute to household income when we can, and are often abused. Social justice and human rights for women is gaining a stronghold — but it isn’t enough.
Leadership is lacking. AMLO, the President of Mexico, is said to have not taken seriously the demonstrations of outrage that were held Sunday in Mexico City. See this article in The Guardian. In the United States of America, a man we call President sets a role model for female abuse and disrespect.
What contributes to this? I’ll talk about what I know. In villages throughout Mexico, drinking beer and mezcal is part of the ritual culture. This is considered tribute for every fiesta and toasts to the occasion are on-going. Men become accustomed to drinking when they are young. They may become alcoholics. Some women do, too. I’ve seen Alcoholics Anonymous meeting places in many towns where I’ve visited.
Drinking is also part of the culture of poverty and shame. In agricultural villages, men are responsible for subsistence farming, which means they work the fields to grow corn, beans and squash to feed their families. All men do this. It is not commodified. There is no economic value to resell since everyone farms. So, they are not making an income. There is despair, depression, anger, resentment. Men turn to alcohol for succor.
Weaving and embroidery provides income for women
Women in these villages I have visited are weavers. They grow, card, spin and weave cotton or wool and create textiles to wear themselves or to sell if they have developed a market. They are the income earners. They provide for food not grown or raised, education costs for children and grandchildren, medicines. In traditional relationships, women turn their earned income over to the men, considered head of household. But we are getting smarter. At least some of us!
The New Religion — Fundamentalist Christianity is gaining a foothold in Mexico. In the state of Chiapas, the poorest, it is said over 63% have converted from Catholicism to one of the many proselytizing religious groups. I see traditional Catholic villages around the Oaxaca valley with Christian churches integrated into the community. Why?
Fundamentalist Christianity promotes no drinking, no spousal or family abuse, and no participation in the traditional patronage system based on Catholic observance, no hierarchy. Women embrace this and convince their husbands it is good for them, too.
Priests expelled from Chamula in the 60’s; Catholicism on the wane in Chiapas, Mexico
In villages where women do not have a skill that can be converted to a marketable commodity, it is more difficult.
Abuse knows no social or economic boundaries, as many of us know. The women of Mexico have demonstrated this. We have made inroads but the path is long and requires more.
Are we invisible?
One reader sent me this: Unfortunately the shift is from alcoholism (especially as Mezcal becomes the gentrified drink of choice and is pricing locals out of it) and into crystal meth addiction. There are plenty of AA locations even in small pueblos but treatment and support for meth addiction is unheard of here. Not to mention the recovery rate from meth is not promising. Meth is so widespread now that it’s even in the secundarias (middle schools). In the bulk of towns, there are no artisanal traditions and minimal education, and the women have even fewer options than those who benefit from the tourist industry. In our town, 20% of the women are illiterate; I work with mothers who can’t even print their own name. Women in their 30s, so these aren’t archaic statistics.
As I said, there is a lot to think about, to do, and for us to create the political will for change. Desperation and addiction are equal to human destruction.
Her husband drinks and she weaves.
All the more reason not to bargain when you come to visit!
Women are responsible for about 1/2 of the compensated economic activity in Mexico, and relied on in disproportionate numbers for the work done in the home. This represents about 15% of the GDP of the country. Yet women’s rights are largely ignored and mostly violated. Men still have the right to decide the fate of most women’s lives here, and it is reported that each day, 10 women are victims of femicidal violence.
For those who do compensated work, the average daily wage is 200-250 pesos, equivalent to $10-$12 per 8-hour day.
Gender violence is rampant, and that’s why women in Mexico are on strike today. Read this Washington Post article.
You can read more here in America’s Quarterly about why March 9 is a national women’s strike day in Mexico. Meanwhile, I offer this photo tribute to the women I know and have met over the years who do so much, for often so little, for their children and their families.
Juana Montaño winding a bobbin for weaving, Teotitlan del Valle
Women are encouraged to stay home and not work to demonstrate the impact of women who disappear.
Anacleta Juarez Miranda, San Bartolome AyautlaThe future is in our childrenA single mom raising her child
In villages throughout Mexico where there is poverty, limited access to education, healthcare and economic opportunity, women suffer. Recently, during our Oaxaca Coast Textile Study Tour, the women of San Juan Colorado told us how their weaving brought income. Their husbands, subsistence farmers, had no opportunities to sell the food they grow, and turned to alcoholism for succor. Family violence is common when there are no choices.
Norma Gutierrez, Carneceria TeotiMy friend Lupita. She died of breast cancer in 2018, age 47.
Some women choose not to marry. Others, who become young widows like my friends Lupita and Josephina, choose not to remarry and to raise their families independently. This is not an option for most.
Carrying burdens, Tlacolula MarketDolores Santiago cleaning a rug, a rare equal partner with her husband Federico Deceased potter Dolores Porras, Santa Maria AtzompaMaruch, San Juan Chamula, Chiapas, weaver
Men who have gone to the USA to work often never return, stop sending funds, leave their wives and children to make it on their own as they disappear into the vast community of the undocumented. USA public policy does an excellent job of separating families and keeping them estranged.
Let’s respect the work of all women — inside and outside the home — and given special attention today to women and families in Mexico who need and want better lives.
Viviana Alavez, grand master of Oaxaca folk artApron makers, San Miguel del ValleSan Pedro Amusgos, Oaxaca spinner, carder, weaver, embroiderer, cook, etc.
We know the culture! We are locally owned and operated.
Eric Chavez Santiago is Zapotec, born and raised in Teotitlan del Valle, Oaxaca.
Norma Schafer has been living in Oaxaca for almost 20 years.
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What is a Study Tour: Our programs are learning experiences, and as such we talk with makers about how and why they create, what is meaningful to them, the ancient history of patterning and design, use of color, tradition and innovation, values and cultural continuity, and the social context within which they work. First and foremost, we are educators. Norma worked in top US universities for over 35 years and Eric founded the education department at Oaxaca’s textile museum. We create connection.
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October 27, 28, 29: People and Place Photography Workshop in Teotitlán Del Valle with Luvia Lazo, featured in The New Yorker Magazine. Portraits and Street Photography, recipient of Leica Women Foto Project Award Winner 2024. This is an insider's Street and Portrait photography experience. We visit families in their homes to arrange photo sessions, we take you on the back streets where tourists rarely go.
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February 6-15:Guatemala Textile Study Tour: Cloth and Culture. Discover Antigua, Lake Atitlan and Panajachel, Chichicastenango Market, and visit Coban where they weave fine gauze cloth called pikbil. SOLD OUT
March 12-17: Deep Into the Mixteca Alta: Oaxaca Textile + Folk Art Study Tour 2025. This is cultural immersion at its best! Following the Dominican Route, we visit potteries, churches, Triqui weavers working in natural dyes, a cooperative in Tijaltepec that makes smocked blouses, the expansive Tlaxiaco Saturday Tianguis. Experience another side of Oaxaca.
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Dye Master Dolores Santiago Arrellanas with son Omar Chavez Santiago, weaver and dyer, Fey y Lola Rugs, Teotitlan del Valle
